A few people have asked me how I feel about Prince William getting married, and since I’m on deadline on a story and in desperate need of a little procrastination, here goes…
As an upper-middle-class (who occasionally slides down to lower-middle-class and can mix with working-class and upper-class people only with extreme discomfort) British person my opinions on royalty are necessarily shaped by jealousy (why wasn’t I born with some of that blood line?), sublimated, barely suppressed rage masked by excessive politeness (cocksucker! Why wasn’t I born with some of that blood line…or rather…can I get you a cup of tea?), twisted pride (at least I understand how important that blood line is, you heathen, classless scum), apathy (thinking about royalty is like thinking about the size of the universe, I get dizzy) and resignation (because that blood line is always going to exist and be revered…just look at the tourism revenues).
God save the Queen.
It’s good for William Windsor that he’s marrying a woman chosen, it seems, for her personality over her aristocracy although I couldn’t help squirming when I heard BBC royal correspondent Jennie Bond describing her on the radio the other day as “sort of upper-middle-class,” she supposes. If pushed.
Bond, like many people in the middle-class in Britain will secretly regard Kate Middleton as an interloper, someone who doesn’t know her place. It’s the old internalized oppression deal. Policing by the policed: Middleton had a photo of Windsor on her wall before she met him, for Christ’s sake. It’s practically prostitution.
Others will simply be thrilled for the young lady and glad for Windsor that he might be able to salvage a shred of happiness from generations of inbreeding and pompous folly.
I’m torn between both ends of the spectrum and find myself veering from one extreme to the other, but since the royals are essentially an expression of the collective British personality, and by extension, myself, I am just as fascinated as the rest of you. It is what it is. I am what I yam. There’s no point my going all Joe Strummer on the deal and screaming “White Riot!” because Strummer, it turns out, was the upper-class son of a diplomat. And Sir Mick Jagger studied business at the London School of Economics before he started The Rolling Stones.