“DONALD TRUMP BADGES,” he shouted. “Okay, that’s funny…” I stopped. Dan and Adam (last names unknown) were selling funny badges at the Farmer’s Market this afternoon. The wife and I were only there, obviously, to spend $80 on a pulled pork sandwich and compete for social status with other white people like attorneys. So this was an unexpected highlight:
We bought three for $5, behold: A young be-turquoise-jacketed Hillary Clinton, Dennis Rodman buggering John Waters by the pool, and Madonna with her daugther Lourdes, mugging for the camera in front of a burning monk.
That’s Adam and Dan at the bottom there. They’re alright with me, despite the suspicious trucker hat, because hipster entrepreneurship is basically an oxymoron…but wait…
Just after we bought the badges, Jared, one of the managers of the farmer’s market, came over and explained to Adam and Dan that they’d have to move their stall back away from the market’s boundary. Because obviously, if everybody showed up to the farmer’s market with funny badges to sell at a reasonable price, it might make things more fun for everybody, and people wouldn’t feel suicidally depressed walking around the place anymore. Then they wouldn’t have to spend $9million each on morel mushrooms just to feel better. Jared said: “Your fun is an enemy of freedom.” (not really. but his body language implied it…)
Jared, you’ve probably got a self-serving argument for why what you did was cool, but there were Nazi soldiers in the Holocaust who said they were “only following orders,” and you are JUST as evil.